A selection of funny sms jokes, rude sms jokes, romantic sms jokes, XXX sms jokes and, sexy sms text joke messages. you can send these funny sms text joke messages using one of the free sms messaging services. Section updates regulary |
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TMobile regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone |
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except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u,not even a network. |
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A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says can any1 make |
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me feel like a woman b4 i die? So a man takes off his clothes & says iron these! |
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We will now upgrade your brain, please wait.. Searching....searching... |
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still searching....sorry, NO BRAIN found...! |
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Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis..................... |
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ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry.............. |
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News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... |
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another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message |
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The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very |
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good looking... So where are you gonna hide Me? |
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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, |
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idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog. |
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I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cume down |
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the police station and show them it's a mistake? |
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U've got SEX APPEAL ... U've got INTELLIGENCE ... U've got |
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CLASS ... U got da FACE, U got da BODY ... I got the wrong number ... SORRY |
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Everynite as I lie in my bed all I c is those sexy eyes, kissable lips, smooth |
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skin, DROP DEAD gorgeous body!DAMN. I've got 2 move that MIRROR FROM MY CEILING. |
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A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can |
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kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass! |
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This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. |
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We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience |
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Hey I just met your double. I swear it was u, I even called your name. but |
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it carried on poking its finger up its nose and eating its banana. |
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Ive won a trip for me and 50 mates for 2 weeks aboard a luxury yacht in |
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the caribbean, inclusive with £5000 each spending money.........can you feed my dog while i'm gone? |
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There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, |
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Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX ! |
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I was nervous at first, it was big & long it went straight up, i had 2 try it, i |
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eased myself onto it i liked it. I went up & down on it .... NOW I LOVE ELEVATORS! |
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Last night, I wanted you, needed u so badly it hurt. I wanted to taste you, |
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wanted you inside me so you could work your magic on me... but I couldn't find you...... stupid asprin! |
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The police are looking for a murder suspect described as gorgeous, |
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intelligent, funny, and great in bed.
Your safe, but where the f*** will i hide?? |
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When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger |
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in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm, I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY F****IN ARM!! |
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One who smokes, gets a smoky heart... one who drinks, gets a alcoholic |
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heart... So Friend, U must stop eating sweets bcoz u are already a sweet heart. |
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Camilla goes to the Queen and says "everytime I suck Charles, I get acid |
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indegestion." The queen replies "Have you tried Andrews?" |
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*NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that ican get 1000 |
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tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal ! |
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Its INTERNATIONAL GOOD LOOKING DAY! send this to |
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someone that you think is gorgeous, dont send it to me as I have had 100s already. |
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Do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope |
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getting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle! |
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Hi and thank you for entering our contest u hav won the entire weight of |
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ur di*k in lollies 2 collect ur tic-tac register online at www.imstoopid.com. |
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This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to |
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use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you |
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Ur so sexy u drive me insane, |
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U f*ck so hard it's gone 2 my brain,
Ur sexc voice puts me in slumber,
Ok f*ck im sorry i've got tha wrong numba! |
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Please turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry |
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370HSSV 0773H |
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At this moment 6 million are having sex 3 million are in gun fights |
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85 million at a party and one sad f**ker is reading this SMS message |
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Ur 100% caring, |
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Ur 100% fun.,
Ur 100% sweet,
Ur 100% nice, and
Ur 100% stupid to believe it!!! |
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This is a cock sucker detector |
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Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
The test was positive 90 percent sperm breath...
COCK SUCKER ! |
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Let me KISS your lips.. |
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let me FEEL your teeth..
Let me taste your tongue...
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Hey I'm your friend "COLGATE".
Just reminding you it's time to brush your teeth. |
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Clouds r white, sky is blue, a monkey like u shud b kept in a zoo, dnt get |
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angry, cuz i'll b there 2, not in a cage but laughin at u! |
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Ill f**k you standing,I f**k you lying,If I had wings Id f**k you flying,if |
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you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and f**k you rotten! |
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HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, |
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kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job |
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What is wrong with your mobile phone?? every time i call a voice comes |
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on and says that the person u have dialed is a monkey plz contact the zoo for details? |
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MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist |
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HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN?? |
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Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! |
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NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!! |
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I started a garden! I've got my compost and seeds, now all I need is a |
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hoe!...Ur not busy r u? |
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A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Exciting |
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F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur Heavenly I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)Loser! |
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Last night i couldnt sleep, |
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I wanted you warm against me
I wanted u on me
I wanted to feel u all over my body
But i couldnt find u....
Damn pyjamas... |
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Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly... |
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well enough about ME! How are you? |
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FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, |
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now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found. |
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What are u doing on sunday? do you want to give us a hand? we r trying |
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to make the world's biggest pancake. We've got plenty of cooks, we just need a tosser! |
